Goal Setting Can Be a Real Drag!

2UEi7Shv-u0FCysaaDDDzyUhANMsdL5ytJnbuxxNZyLmR3Y2uYqXnSdNWH9x2IatrmknCw=w1241-h479

Messages We Can Give Ourselves Along the Way

It is funny. I always hated the word GOALS and now I am in the GOALS business. Why did I hate it? Because in my mind it implied failure. Of course, if I set a goal I probably wouldn't achieve it (I learned this over time) so why bother in the first place? It somehow seemed as if it had shame and disappointment attached to it. I have learned that setting goals is of course about the result but even more powerfully, about the process and journey and being in action. I realize today that what I need to do is reframe my thinking about the subject, and I  have found some messages I give myself that speak to me in a kinder, gentler voice. This helps me to keep moving in the right direction.

  • Progress is perfect! Making incremental progress is as good as it gets. No way you are going to be perfect - ever. A client of mine once said that for him progress is perfection. I love that one.

  • Ask yourself the following question. "Is this good enough for now?" Know that you can always come back to it once you get feedback and the experience of working with it "as is." Ask yourself: "What is the worst that could happen if I do it as it is right now?" Think through the possible answers to that question, and you will be surprised that embedded in the answers are many solutions you may never have even thought of. You will be amazed at the relief you will feel as you go through this seemingly scary process.

  • Keep reminding yourself how good it feels to be in action rather than in inaction. When the negative voices start, stop and refer to a success you just had, and think through the steps you took to accomplish it in spite of how you may have felt. The goal is that if you have been working to change and develop these new habits you will be accumulating them all along the way. Review what you did to get there the last time and what the result was (i.e. steps you took). This is a very concrete process.

  • Stop beating yourself up! If you must, please put away the hammer and take out a feather.

  • Be kind and gentle. Give yourself time to be in the process of change. Time takes time. You will most probably take one step forward and then three back for a while. Accept this as a natural and integral part of the PROCESS of sustainable change and reaching goals. Remember to give yourself credit for the positive things you have done on an ongoing basis.

  • You do not need to attain perfection. You need only to discover which way is forward and begin moving in that direction.

Be kind to yourself today. The alternative stinks!

Coach Nancy

Influencer Series: Judith Glaser

Judith Glaser COLOR-tight

Judith Glaser needs no introduction. As one of the most innovative and respected executive coaches in the consulting industry, Glaser can be regularly spotted on CBS, NBC and Fox, discussing conversation intelligence, WE-centric leadership and more.

The Distracted Executive is proud to include Glaser in our ongoing Influencer Series, where we talk to her about measuring results, how she stays organized (a unique coding system!) and the biggest challenge in her business today.

The Distracted Executive: As an author, entrepreneur and overall rock star, what is the greatest challenge in your business today, and what are you doing to address it?

Judith Glaser: My new book, Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results, has brought me many, many new opportunities, new challenges, and new partnerships, which opened the door for me to think differently. The greatest challenge was: “How to bring C-IQ to people globally?” So we put our heads together and built our first conversational app called WE-IQ®. It’s a platform that facilitates and elevates conversational intelligence. It’s designed for peers, peer coaches and teams to work together virtually to keep track of priorities with each other in a more collaborative, effective and productive way, which leads to creating a more productive and more innovative workplace. Staying connected is the key to success, and WE-IQ is that platform. WE launch it in January 2015.

TDE: What would you say is your biggest distraction when you are working these days?

JG: After my new book, Conversational Intelligence, was published – we started to get calls from around the globe to bring this work to different countries. This is a wonderful new addition to our growth. However, it creates challenges. We are working to the max already on existing projects. Every project has a multiplier – even when we detail out the work that needs to get done there is always another layer of engagement needed. When the new work comes, we need to take our eyes off of what we have planned and carve out a way to focus on building out the new business. It’s both exciting and challenging – and for people like me that need some sense of order and predictability – it opens up challenges.

TDE: What has become your greatest challenge around managing time?

JG: Now that we have decided to work with our new partners in different countries, we have expanded our attention to developing the partnerships with our new colleagues. It’s invigorating and challenging. With each new relationship we have an array of new things to focus on… and we need to work out how to have our conversations even when the time zones are so far apart. With India, for example, we need to talk at night or very early in the morning. Also with Australia – their best time is our dinnertime. Singapore is after dinner and before sleep. We all have ‘time clocks in our heads,’ and disrupting our natural flow is often a big adjustment.

TDE: What is your very best practice for being as efficient as you are?

JG: I have developed ways to create better organizational systems. I am using coding systems now. Since I am getting so many documents and emails from each person, and retrieving them is critical, I have created filing systems that are not all alphabetical – I am now using ‘years’ or ‘months’ to find them easily. This way I am enabling myself to cluster projects that are current from those that are not. I am also organizing my visual calendars with to-dos on the top of each day so they are also present visually.

TDE: Everything seems important or urgent these days. How do you efficiently navigate your to-do list without hindering your success?

JG: The daily to-dos on my calendar are really helpful. I can see what to-dos connect to meetings coming up on the calendar, which helps me get things ready for when I need them.

TDE: You manage people and work with some people who are all over the place. How do you deal with someone who is very distracted and not giving you what you need in a timely manner?

JG: Sometimes I need to have difficult conversations with people – especially those who work closely with me. Since timing of projects and coordinating projects is really, really important – getting off track is really, really disruptive. So at times I need to sit down with these people and elevate the importance of coordinating better with them. We talk about why this is important and how it has a negative impact on our work when we are not aligned. This helps – and sometimes you need to do it more than once!

TDE: How are you impacted by interruptions during the day? What is your #1 tip for dealing with them?

JG: Some days feel like one long run-on sentence! When disruptions happen on top of this, the day becomes chaos. Here are two powerful tips that come from my book, Conversational Intelligence. Tip one is called "Reframing." When you label something as a disruption – you are actually activating the lower brain or Amygdala, which is built for protection. Cortisol, a stress hormone, is released, and it creates more stress by closing down the Executive brain. When you "reframe" a disruption from something that bothers you (stress producing) to something important to take care of to grow my business (dopamine producing), it activates the prefrontal cortex, which is where the functions of strategizing, innovating, thinking clearly and also down-regulating stress reside. Reframing reduces stress and opens up the capacity for handling the stress. Tip two: write down all of the interruptions. See what the patterns are. Some are to-dos you can do; others are patterns you can eliminate. This puts them under your control.

Let's Get It Done 101!

take the first step

Happy 2015 to all of you, my dear readers. I know that many of us are slowly but surely getting back into the swing of things this week so I thought I would keep it short and sweet. Wouldn't it be nice to get unblocked, unfrustrated, refocused and on track with your life? Here is a simple step by step way to make some incremental progress in the right direction.

First, take a deep breath. Then…

Identify the challenges and obstacles that are frustrating you.

  • Get really clear on the big picture and even more importantly, all of the small things that are creating it.

  • Design your vision for success, as in think about what one or two steps you can possibly take and what the end game looks like for YOU.

  • Establish concrete goals for getting there

  • Reduce each goal to manageable parts…breaking one             at a time down to smallest possible action / next steps

  • Set up clearly defined commitments for action, accountability and focus, as in get out the calendar and pick a time to take action A or B.

  • Get out of your comfort zone and commit to doing something differently than you have been doing it. Not everything. Just one thing.

It’s that simple: We all, no doubt, have a ton of potential waiting to transform itself into focus, action and extraordinary results.

So, this year, let it be all about incremental progress in the right direction. That is what I call success.

Best,

Coach Nancy

Influencer Series: Kathy Braddock

Kathy-Braddock 9-14

Kathy Braddock is a managing director at William Raveis New York City, the 100th office of William Raveis Real Estate, Mortgage & Insurance, the largest family-owned residential real estate company in the Northeast. During her 30-plus years in the real estate industry, her business savvy and entrepreneurial spirit has helped build and form some of New York’s most distinguished real estate firms, including Rutenberg Realty, which she co-founded and grew from the ground up, with zero agents, into the sixth-largest residential brokerage in New York City, and Douglas Elliman (DE), for which she served as an executive managing director and general sales manager. The Distracted Executive: You are clearly very successful! Can you give my readers your #1 strategy for keeping all the balls in the air at the same time? What do you do?

Kathy Braddock: I start with an old fashioned to-do list; As I complete a task I put a line through it. As well, I try to calculate how long a task will take, and therefore I know how much time I have left to devote to other projects. I also know what my strengths and weaknesses are, so I try to delegate the tasks that I don't think are the best use of my time. And if I have to do something that I really hate, I reward myself at the end.

TDE: You work with brokers and salespeople all day long. How do you keep them motivated to keep producing for you?

KB: By focusing on their strengths and weaknesses. I try to teach them to work the way that I do. Coaching them to constantly think of themselves as their own brand. Making them reach out to their sphere of influence and not think about all the other brokers out there. Putting blinders on them so that they simply focus on themselves.

TDE: What is your favorite way to communicate in business these days and why?

KB: I believe in face-to-face communication and following up on the phone. Email is for confirming a time to meet, not much more. Many things get screwed up in email communication. You really can't tell the tone or the intent of the sender.

TDE: How do you deal with interruptions during the day? What do you do to get re-focused and on track?

KB: I ask someone to wait a minute while I finish up. I jot down where I left off and then resume. Sometimes I take a snack break to get re-focused or just push through. Again, a simple personal reward sometimes works.

You can reach Kathy by email at Kathy.Braddock@raveis.com.

Email Mistakes We All Seem to Be Making These Days

I read what I think is a terrific (and also slightly scary) article in the Wall Street Journal by Sue Shellenbarger a few weeks ago entitled "Stop Wasting Everyone's Time," about how meetings and email are literally killing hours we need to be doing other things! Not telling you anything you don't know but what I found interesting and informative are some of the things we ALL are probably guilty of that we may not even realize. What is scary is how much we are all wasting each other's time and overloading one another just with our email communication alone.

Seagate Technology, a California company studied how its teams work together. According to the study, ( where they worked with 7600 people) they found that one single client was generating nearly 3700 emails and draining 8,000 work hours annually from 228 employees at Seagate. Fortunately for Seagate, they took this information very seriously ( it has to start from the top) and have made some significant changes that have had significant results in terms of available time to get real work done.

Shellenbarger talks about some of the biggest email culprits that waste everyone's time and put a huge dent in productivity and bottom line profitability.

When you email, do you:

  • Invite too many people at too many levels of management?

  • CC too many people routinely?

  • Constantly hit that "reply all" button without thinking?- UGH

  • Confuse recipients with vague subject lines

  • Frustrate attendees by stating unclear/vague agendas in your email

  • Invite feedback in your emails

  • Fail to make clear what recipients are supposed to do

Very often we can be part of the problem without intending to be. Becoming aware of some of our tendencies is the first step to making real changes. For example, are you a person who uses email to work out disagreements or invites colleagues to meetings to make them feel important or sends open-ended emails just to update colleagues about projects in case they want to weigh in?

All of this, ultimately, well intended or not, is draining us and causing high levels of stress, not to mention overwhelm and exhaustion every day.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope that I have given you some interesting things to think about when working on your next email or hitting that "reply all" button. Even if you make one small change in the way you are doing things, I know it will be greatly appreciated on the receiving end.

Have a productive day!

Coach Nancy